THE KILLING ZONE

1) The Killing Zone (1991) Dir - Addison Randall



I seriously do not know where to begin with this film, other than mentioning that it is in fact one of the best b-movie's ever crafted (in my opinion)!
I have seen this film about 20 times and every time I almost laugh my chin clean off my face.

The story briefly goes as follows -
Garrett Bodine (Deron McBee - Ex American Gladiator, owner of ridiculous jaw line and massive pecs) is put behind bars for, as we learn 'chinning a cowboy, who got up in his face'. Along with his Uncle Sam (Armando Silvestre - Magnum P.I look-alike) they both PASSIONATELY HATE Mexican druglord and all round legend Carmen Vasquez (James Dalesandro - Cheeky Mexican Scamp who swears by his mothers eyes - twice) The reason for the hate? Vasquez cost Sam his legs and his Creer (Career)......
Garrett appears to scrape sand with a spade and fight for a day job whilst inside, he also has a lot of friends who wear stonewashed denim, have small torso's and incredibly flat tops to there heads.
Uncle Sam owns a bar with his lovely wife Jenny (Sydne Squire - Who says, 'you heard what Sam said' alot). The bar appears to be a local strip joint and darts venue with camera's pointing between punters legs at all times. Garrett's girlfriend Tracy (Melissa Moore - Blonde, large mammaries) works as a barmaid at the pub and she's desperate for a reunion with the great mulletted one!
Anyway, Carmen's younger bro Pablo is killed behind bars (a paid hit?) and Carmen takes an emotional phone call before briefly sleeping......
HE'S BLOODY LIVID and calls for the chopper, he wants revenge on his brothers callous killers and crosses the border in a frankly pretty drawn out helicopter scene (I believe I now know how to fly one after watching)...
Word gets out about Carmen's imminent return and it's left in the hands of the best DEA agent around, Jack Slade (Charles K Sullivan - Just brilliant) to pop him on the merry-go-round and to say 'fuck him' quite a lot!
Slade gets Garrett out of jail early and tells him to get Vasquez before he gets them.....OH, and there are no laws and there are no rules!


I won't give away anymore as I believe everyone should watch it and enjoy the twist, the superb acting and the bit where Garrett pull his sunglasses down whilst revealing a smirk over a cheeky 80's lick after beating the shit out of 5 pissed guys.
Oh and for 'that end'.

Shit Facts -

1) Director Addison Randall gets in on the action in two scenes, only to die twice!
2) The American release of TKZ chose to put the following names on the front cover - Deron McBee (understandable - Main star), Wally K Berns (Drunk guy, in it for about 3 minutes and did nothing else after The Killing Zone) and Michael Easten (Plays small part - 'Gopher'). The main cast avoided the front.
3) Charles K Sullivan (Slade) sadly never acted again. One can only imagine it may be down to his poor telephone skills.....

25 Things we've learnt from watching The Killing Zone!


1) Massively muscular-ripped men cannot pull up 12 stone men using only a rope.

2) Falling hundreds of feet off a cliff will leave you with a 'bad knee' and nothing more

3) Mexican drug lords like porcelain cats

4) Never fly high and in a straight line in a helicopter when you can fly 2 foot from the mountain tops whilst swaying from side to side.

5) Black men can only say 'Oh Shit!'.

6) Never ever say 'it's a long way down!' through an open window

7) People can lay dead in the street for up to 2 days before being discovered by a black man who then says....you guessed it, Oh shit.

8) 2 Pigeons can make the sound of a hundred if they put there mind to it

9) Prison wardens will not question you bundling a prisoner into the back a car and escaping with them if you pass them a folded bit of yellow paper

10) It is possible to start a chant and then sit down and talk at the same time, leaving your chanting voice still going strong somewhere in the background

11) Massive muscular guys will collapse embarrassingly if they have a beer and a shooter in quick succession.

12) Chimney sweeps appear to work as hotel receptionists in their spare time

13) Prison Wardens will happily catch grenade's and looked confused before exploding if you throw one at them

14) If you fire a machine gun into a completely empty room, a dead body will appear slumped over a chair, guaranteed

15) Do you have a blue van? If so, try parking it in a car park and you will see that upon your return it will have moved for you, to aid a quick escape.

16) Never ever get into a car and start the engine if sinister strings are playing in the background

17) If you are stood by a freshly blown up car, check behind you for any dodgy looking moustached Mexicans walking away

18) All drug lords go with there henchmen in a non conspicuous limos to buy small amounts of cocaine in freshly ironed white suits

19) If you are being hunted by a man with a machine gun through a desert ALWAYS go to high ground, you are bound not to be seen from afar!

20) If you are a henchmen and feel like being naughty, don't worry, you will at least get to have a sword fight with your boss in front of an audience if you get caught

21) If you fall from a motorbike, even at a slow speed, you will die instantly on impact

22) ALL gangsta's stand by burning bins listening to hip hop and dancing

23) It appears bad guys burst into a bars and frankly just enjoy shooting at the glasses behind it

24) It is perfectly fine to fit a bomb to a policeman's car in broad day light in the car park of a police station....No questions asked, just stand near by and wait

25) And most importantly, if you get the opportunity to kill an intergral person, shoot them in the chest NOT the head!


This is the best B-Movie I have seen and I have seen alot!
'Just back off slade!'
5/5

I would like to thank Jo De Lancey and Dave May for introducing me to this classic!