LEPRECHAUN IN THE HOOD

Leprechaun In The Hood - Dir Rob Spera (2000)

This film is rather like being raped at knife point and then finding a bin bag with £500,000 stashed inside as you slowly crawl home. You are at no point sure whether to cower naked in the corner of the shower weeping, or celebrate.

OK, the film is exactly what it says on the tin/box, but my god who would have thought a leprechaun would have had quite as much of an impact on the mean streets of Compton. Oh and there are some 'politically in-correct' limericks in the hood!

P.S - This is a 'Terror' which is like calling Pingu a 'Pyschological Thriller'.......

The Story in Brief!

Right then, Ice-T (who must look back on this as a high-point) discovers in his flairs and afro back in the 1970's that a Leprechaun has an underground hide out in Compton (how!?) and along with a friend he raids it. The place is fucking brimming with gold and a stone statue of the small man himself. However Mr Lep (Warwick Davis - Willow) has a gold chain round his neck and if removed he comes right back to life and kills people, but not before unleashing a shit rhyme and walking with weird bowed legs (which I watched more than the film itself).

Cut to 2000 if you will (though it looks far more like 1985) and Ice-T is a BIG ASS business man through the stolen gold. He owns a rap label and to be honest has become a reet proper cunt.

We follow the story of 3 'kids' (2 rap and the other one blows shit up, including PA's, which is helpful!) and frankly they can't really rap and wonder why they haven't got a deal, but one day they happen to come across Ice-T who offers them an audition for his big label. But these guys care more about rapping about the environment and otter's and not about stabbing up a bitch ho or whatever, so he tells them to fuck clean off.

Whilst in the office however they notice that Ice-T has lots of gold, and a stone statue of a Leprechaun (which I have NEVER seen on an episode of Cribs) so they plan to rob him a nick the shit to buy equipment to make it big.

They do and of course off comes the gold necklace and hello Mr Evil Lep.

However a gold flute they nick means that everytime it is blown everybody near by becomes entranced, and whatever is played is the BEST thing EVER (which is lucky for them)! People would clap even if you dropped your trousers, crouched and peeled out a length of dirty shit it seems.

Lep is LIVID and wants his flute back as does Ice-T, oh, he cannot be killed either (the lep not Ice-T), which is pointless and there are LOADS of transvestite's in this for some reason. Though it does have the best ending to a film (take note Addison Randall, who I am sure must read this! Addison?!)

Honestly watching this made me feel very strange. Firstly who thought, yeah I'll put money into this idea it sounds great AND THEN watched the final product and didn't demand there money back with interest!?

And just how many films has Coolio made a 4 second unspoken cameo in!?

10 things we've learnt from watching Leprechaun in the Hood!

1. Books about defeating Leprechauns are easily available to buy.

2. If you are 3 ripped, mega hard rappers struggling to find a crib in which to stay then just ask a MASSIVE transvestite, they will be happy to put you up.

3. Priests when presented with a bit of tits and ass will instantly stop preaching about god and go in for a kiss with tongues.

4. Being shot point black under the chin will leave about the same amount of mess as popping a medium sized spot.

5. If you are a hooker and presented with a scary looking freak Leprechaun in which to sleep with then just take it in your stride like you have seen millions of the shitters!

6. If you are undefeatble and can never be destroyed then that also means neither can your clothes.

7. If 3 gangstas break into your church then simply get them to rap about Jesus in front of a packed congregation as a punishment, what can simply go wrong....

8. Do not blow a golden flute in a church, Coolio will appear.

9. The head of the biggest rap label in the world will be a fat white man who appears to know fuck all about rap.

10. Four leaf clovers are commonly available in Compton.

Well, I do recommend this as it very very funny though not intentionally in the slightest, if you are expecting a terror then you are a stupid genre mixing twat.

Lep in the hood come to do no good!

4/5